Thursday, August 9, 2012

As close to TMI as I'll ever get

So I'm in the shower this morning.

Minding my business.  Washing my hair so I can go to the salon to have them wash it again.  You know.  And DH (who has the day off), knocks at the bathroom door with a sense of urgency.

I say, "Come iiiiiiiin!" in my happy, sing-songy voice.  (Right, honey?)

And he comes in, mousepad in hand.  I poke my head out of the curtain to see what is on his mousepad.  Immediately I assess the situation and draw two conclusions:

1. It's from a cat.
2. I'm not entirely sure which end of the cat it came from.  You'd think it would be easy to tell...but seriously, this is an atrocity the likes of which I've never seen before.  On DH's mousepad.

I look up at DH and he has this look of horror in his eyes.  Horror mixed with - did I really see it? - accusation

WHAT is THIS??? he demands to know.  As if I personally supervised and approved the whole thing!

At this point in my story, things just fall apart.  Unable to think of anything hilariously witty and sarcastic to say, I just say, "Ewww!  I don't know!  Looks like one of the cats did it, though.  (laughing) What's it doing on your mousepad?" 

DH then walks away, mortified, and the story ends.

Please help me.  I'm doing a George Costanza here, thinking of a comeback after the fact.  It would just make it so perfect!

Let's try this again:


a. That's for "laundry basket jail."
b. Looks like another one of their cat-and-mousepad games
c. DUDE.  I'm in the SHOWER!
d. ________________________________________

10 points for the best witty retort!

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